![]() 08/09/2016 at 16:44 • Filed to: senior week, morning shift | ![]() | ![]() |
The Swedish government is fining Volvo 300 million kronas for “public branding microagressions that are offensive to vomen” and promoting rape culture since their logo is a circle with an arrow pointing northeast, which is sometimes used as a symbol for males (the female symbol being a circle with a plus sign on the south end of it).
Women that bought a Volvo, new or used, can sue them for marketing rape culture, up to 3 times the price they paid for their car plus the equivalent of $200,000, and Volvo will bork all logos and emblems present on each car and replace them with the women’s symbol. Sweden’s Minster of Feminism, Lara Sjogren, said “ve do not tolerate zis shit and Geely vill pay ze price” and vants the same people who killed the electric car to crush any Volvos that cannot be feminized.
She added “ve have also seen some late-model Volvos equipped vith suspensions that have their tires planted on ze ground d ze struts connected together,” comparing this to Chinese foot binding (Volvo is owned by Chinese company Geely).
In the United States, Donald Trump promised to allow all European-market Volvos to be imported here and grant them asylum (he thinks they’re still owned by Ford). “Look at what Sweden is doing to Ford, trying to be politically correct, crushing American cars because of an offensive logo,” and later added, “it’s basically illegal to have a penis in Sweden, if you have yuge cock, big black cock, that’s illegal over there.”
Sjogren agrees, probably the only foreign cabinet member to endorse Trump. Starting next year, it will be illegal to “possess a working penis originally installed at birth” per Swedish Feminist Code 2017.99ø, but she was careful to “vord it so that the transgender community has a safe space here. Ze phallic aftermarket is velcome here, but OE penises shall be borked.
“I know it may be surprising for me to endorse Trump, but I do blame Islam and China for recent violence against vomen. China bought Volvo, and the influx of Muslims to Sveden and elsevhere has its toll.” She hates men regardless, “but this has gone vay too far, even by masculine standards.”
Trump has vowed to grant them asylum, too. “Those vikings, they’re built ford tough, like their Volvos. Shame they’re being borked. They’ll help us make America great again.”
Here is the docket !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!
Seems like something Gawker/Jezebel would post, especially on senior week, right? Shareable on the troll page. How did I do? :p
![]() 08/09/2016 at 16:48 |
|
You forgot to mention that your are swedish and have a penis, and therefore nobody can disagree with your opinions on the matter.
![]() 08/09/2016 at 16:50 |
|
This is good Oppo, but my penis invalidates this opinion.
![]() 08/09/2016 at 16:53 |
|
posting before the shitstorm
remember me
![]() 08/09/2016 at 16:53 |
|
Minster of Feminism, Laura Sjogren
Wow, very subtle-but-hilarious stab.
![]() 08/09/2016 at 16:56 |
|
#seniorweek
#thispostisprobablygonnagetnuked
![]() 08/09/2016 at 16:57 |
|
Nope, nope, nope, nope
![]() 08/09/2016 at 16:57 |
|
every post will probably get nuked after the bankruptcy shit :/
![]() 08/09/2016 at 16:57 |
|
Here is the docket
Swedish Ministry of Feminism v. Geely Scandinavia AB
I only have myself to blame...
![]() 08/09/2016 at 17:00 |
|
Goddammit, I fell for the link. You’re dead to me.
![]() 08/09/2016 at 17:04 |
|
did you add the first pic afterwards? (the black and white one)
Because I didn’t see it in your reply at first, but it shows up now. Good to see Kinja still going strong in its final week, maybe.
![]() 08/09/2016 at 17:04 |
|
Is it sad that I totally thought this was plausible until part way though the second paragraph?
Thanks, I needed this :)
![]() 08/09/2016 at 17:05 |
|
Some people made it all the way to the docket :p
![]() 08/09/2016 at 17:06 |
|
![]() 08/09/2016 at 17:08 |
|
Oh dear.
![]() 08/09/2016 at 17:19 |
|
That looks... really damn painful.
![]() 08/09/2016 at 17:21 |
|
Nah that’s not the painful bit, it’s the sudden deceleration a few seconds later that will really suck.
![]() 08/09/2016 at 17:31 |
|
Well, that’s one way to make fun of a serious subject.
![]() 08/09/2016 at 17:35 |
|
awesome gif
![]() 08/09/2016 at 18:39 |
|
Is this a reference to anything?
![]() 08/09/2016 at 18:46 |
|
nope
![]() 08/10/2016 at 13:11 |
|
Isnt 300 million kronas only like $15? I was just so confused by krones or whatever they were in Norway, with it being 8:1 or some shit. I imagine the Swedish ones are similar. Felt like monopoly money all the time.
![]() 08/10/2016 at 13:36 |
|
Kronor not kronas, but well done. Twas a delightful read.
![]() 08/10/2016 at 14:17 |
|
Seriously they put ads on the rickroll video and it fucking ruins it forever
![]() 08/10/2016 at 14:23 |
|
AdBlock Plus :)
![]() 08/10/2016 at 15:54 |
|
Reported to the Internet Poh-leece. Please for reeducation.
![]() 08/10/2016 at 19:30 |
|